


What Used To Be

by kiyala



Category: Show By Rock!! (Anime)
Genre: Clothed Sex, Ex Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 07:19:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4382480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyala/pseuds/kiyala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rom shouldn't be here. He knows it, and he knows that Shuzo knows it too. There are rules in place for this sort of thing; even if the band doesn't understand why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Used To Be

Rom shouldn't be here. He knows it, and he knows that Shuzo knows it too. There are rules in place for this sort of thing; even if the band doesn't understand why. They're not meant to leave him alone when he's in the same place as Shuzo and they might assume that it's because Rom will end up in a fight. He doesn't blame them for thinking it and he's not about to disabuse them of the notion any time soon. It's better than admitting the real reason, and that's something he doesn't even want to do to himself, let alone his bandmates.

But here he is, at the entrance to Shuzo's dressing room, holding onto the doorframe like it's going to stop him from walking in. Shuzo is watching him with a smug smile, like he knew that this was going to happen. Maybe he did. The glances they'd exchanged when walking past were hardly subtle.

"Where are the twins?" Rom asks, tightening his grip on the painted wood under his hands. He digs his nails into it, like it's some external force pushing him towards Shuzo and he can resist it.

"I sent them home already," Shuzo replies. He smiles easily. "I fabricated an excuse to stay behind and told them I'd catch up with them later. That's what you did too, didn't you?"

Rom doesn't reply, still frowning. One of his canines has slipped past his lips and Shuzo eyes it, licking his lips slowly.

"You know, the longer you spend over there, the more time you're wasting. My time was valuable before but it's even more so, now. I can't afford to wait around for you."

"You never could," Rom mutters. "Even if you pretended you would."

"Still holding onto the past, Rom?"

"I thought that was the whole reason we're both here right now," Rom replies, finally stepping forward, into the dressing room. He shuts the door behind him. "Neither of us are particularly good at moving on, are we?"

"Speak for yourself," Shuzo replies, shrugging. "You're the one who still looks and acts and talks the same as before."

"And here you are." Rom tugs Shuzo closer by his cravat and undoes it, dropping it to the floor. He sinks his teeth into the newly exposed skin of Shuzo's neck, not bothering to be gentle about it. "You can cover up all you want but you're still the same underneath, Shu."

"You wish," Shuzo mutters, even as he tilts his head back to give Rom better access. He gasps quietly at the feeling of Rom's tongue rasping over his skin.

Rom does it again, then bites harder. Shuzo grabs at his shoulders, then pauses. Rom pulls back to give him a questioning look, and Shuzo is watching him with fascination.

"You've gotten bigger than you were before." Shuzo blinks. "I didn't think that you _could_ get any bigger."

Rom huffs quietly in reply. He spends more time at the gym now and he knows that. It comes with having more anger and frustration to work off. Part of that has to do with Shuzo, but he's not about to admit that out loud.

"Meanwhile, you've gotten skinnier." Rom rests his hands on Shuzo's hips. "I could snap you in half. What's the matter, Shu? Life at the top isn't as easy as you thought it would be?"

"You wouldn't know," Shuzo replies. "And I doubt that you'll find out."

Rom bites Shuzo again, undoing his coat and pulling it off his shoulders. He expects to be told off for dropping it at their feet, but Shuzo doesn't say a word, scrambling to get his shirt off too. Rom helps him with it, humming to himself in satisfaction as he pulls it open, revealing the tattoo that curls down from his shoulder to his hip. The ink is a stark contrast to his pale skin and Rom grins, running his fingers over it.

"See? You can hide it, but this is who you've always been."

"I might not be able to change my skin," Shuzo snaps, "but don't let that make you think I can't change everything else. Everything I said to you that day was true. I'm not going to go back on any of it."

"It's just…" Rom sighs heavily, unbuckling Shuzo's belt. "I really don't deal well with being reduced to nothing but a stepping stone, you know? Besides, people don't go _back_ to their stepping stones. But you tanked as a solo act, didn't you? You came crawling back, except there was nothing to come back to. Didn't anticipate that you couldn't make it on your own, did you? You had to find another band. You even had to change your name."

"Can't be helped," Shuzo shrugs. "A star can shine brightly, but it doesn't mean anything unless there's something to outshine."

Rom laughs, because he doesn't know what else to do with the anger surging through him. "You're a dick, Shu."

"And I'm still better than everyone else," Shuzo replies. "So it works out for me."

Rom shakes his head, shrugging out of his vest as he crowds Shuzo against the floor-length mirror on one of the walls. "I still don't understand the way you think. I'm kind of hoping I never do."

Shuzo smiles, grinding against Rom. "You're not here to _understand_ me anyway, and we both know exactly why you _are_ here. You can't afford to waste my time, now."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Rom rocks his hips against Shuzo's, holding his sides. "You don't have time for me. I know. That's exactly why you're here, isn't it? You're just so damn _busy_ that you just had to let your twins run off without you so I could find you here."

"You have it completely confused," Shuzo mutters. "You were the one who wouldn't stop looking at me all night. I just took pity on you—"

"Shu," Rom interrupts, kissing along Shuzo's jaw before biting at his neck. "Shut the hell up."

Shuzo opens his mouth to reply, but Rom kisses him before he can get a word out. It's a rough kiss, his teeth sinking into Shuzo's lips, making him hiss with pain even as he presses himself against Rom.

"Don't mark me," Shuzo gasps, as Rom sucks on the skin just below his jaw. "Not where people can see."

"Are you that desperate to pretend this never happened?" Rom asks with a low laugh.

"It's my label." Shuzo's grip on Rom tightens, pulling him away. "I'm not allowed—"

"Is that why you cover up so much?" Rom asks, brushing his fingers along Shuzo's tattoo. "Didn't realise they had such a chokehold on you."

Shuzo snarls, pushing Rom away. "They don't. They had terms when they offered me my contract and I accepted them. It's that simple, Rom. You can blame as many things as you want, but it doesn't change the fact that I left because I wanted to, and found something else that worked better for me."

Rom scowls, looking away. "I know that. Doesn't make me hate it any less."

"There's no point in dwelling on what's already happened and can't be changed," Shuzo mutters, placing his hand on Rom's cheek, turning his head back so they can look at each other. "Are we going to keep going around in circles with this same conversation? How long are you going to make me wait until…"

"Until?" Rom prompts, kissing Shuzo's lips gently. "What do you want, Shu?"

Snorting softly, Shuzo shakes his head. "You already know."

"I still want to hear you say it, though," Rom replies, grinning against Shuzo's lips. "Go on."

"I refuse. Why should I? You want it just as badly. Eventually, you're going to run out of patience and give it to me, whether I spell it out for you or not."

"You say that," Rom murmurs, his tail snaking its way around Shuzo's hip and across his back, "but you're the one already hurrying me along here. I mean, if you _want_ to wait and see which one of us gets impatient first…"

"I hate you," Shuzo grits out, pulling Rom into a kiss. He bites at Rom's lips, hard enough to make him hiss with pain, then pulls back far enough to glare at him. "I fucking hate you so much. I need you to fuck me."

"And you hate that too," Rom guesses, undoing Shuzo's fly and tugging his pants down just far enough to free his cock. He kisses along Shuzo's jaw, stroking his cock slowly. "Don't worry. You're not the only one."

Shuzo hisses, tensing up, and Rom can tell that he's trying to resist the urge to thrust into the hand around his cock. Rom pulls away, ignoring Shuzo's whine of protest, turning him around so he's facing the mirror. 

"There," Rom mutters, pulling Shuzo's tail out of the way and crowding up against him, pressing him into the mirror. "I'll fuck you like this so you can look at the one person in the world you care about. How about that?"

There's no point in arguing this and Rom knows it. They do it anyway, no matter how many times they see each other, and it always goes until one of them decides to drop it. It can be his turn today, he decides, because it doesn't look like Shuzo will, and they have better things to do anyway. He unbuckles his belt and takes the packet of lube out of his pocket before pulling his pants down to his knees. He slicks his cock and his fingers, pushing his index into Shuzo slowly.

" _Finally_ ," Shuzo sighs, leaning against the mirror and bearing back on Rom's finger, pushing it deeper into himself. His breath hitches as Rom adds a second finger, and he looks over his shoulder.

"Thicker than your own fingers, aren't they?" Rom asks with a knowing smirk.

"Thicker than the twins'," Shuzo replies, laughing as Rom's eyes go wide. 

"Of course you found new people to worship you," Rom grunts.

"Jealousy is unbecoming," Shuzo replies. "And anyone can see that you're fucking your bandmates too. Or I can, at least. Are you really in any position to judge?"

Rom supposes he can't really argue with that. He pushes a third finger into Shuzo, curling them just right. He hates that he still remembers exactly what Shuzo likes, but at the very least, he might as well take advantage of it. Shuzo whines, pressing himself against the mirror, his tail twitching against Rom's arm. He makes sure it stays out of his way, brushing his fingers against Shuzo's prostate deliberately. 

"You fucking tease," Shuzo bites out, forehead pressed against the mirror. "Come _on_ , Rom. I need you in me. Happy?"

"There," Rom grins, pulling his fingers out and stroking his cock to make sure it's slick enough before slowly thrusting into Shuzo. "That wasn't so difficult, was it?"

Shuzo doesn't reply, reaching behind him and grabbing hold of Rom's hip, as if to pull him closer. Rom keeps moving, until he's in to the hilt, and wraps his arm around Shuzo's chest to keep him close. He presses his nose to the nape of Shuzo's neck, inhaling deeply, and he's missed this smell. He's missed the familiar feeling of Shuzo in his arms, the small sounds of pleasure escaping his throat no matter how hard he tries to hold them back. Shuzo is _home_ , or he was for the longest time and Rom still doesn't completely know what to do without him. He supposes that's why they're still seeking each other out like this. It's a comforting thought that perhaps Shuzo feels equally lost, even if they've both paved their own ways without each other. 

Rom thrusts into him hard, and he swears under his breath as he realises that Shuzo is grinding against the mirror. He reaches around, swearing louder as he runs his fingers through the mess of precome on Shuzo's cock, on the mirror. 

"You're _desperate_ ," Rom mutters, wrapping his fingers around Shuzo's cock and pumping, as best as he can with the confined space between Shuzo's body and the mirror. "Did you miss me?"

"I should be asking you the same question," Shuzo replies. "You're grinding into me like you couldn't even stop yourself if you tried."

"You think so, huh?" Rom asks, pausing for a moment.

" _No_ ," Shuzo cries, too loud, too immediately to shrug it off. At least he doesn't try to. "Everything's always such a competition to you. You need to be the one who didn't miss me as much, you need to be the one who doesn't want this as much as I do, you need to be the one who isn't at fault—"

"That's not—" Rom cuts himself off, pressing his face into Shuzo's hair with a frustrated growl. He rocks his hips, thrusting harder, until Shuzo cries out, and they can't continue their conversation because they're both on the brink of coming. This is easier to deal with, and Rom's always been better at expressing himself with his body, whether that be with his fists, his lips, his hands sliding over Shuzo's body. It's why he loves drumming so much and Shuzo understood that. He understood whatever Rom was trying to say, even when he couldn't put it into words. 

He must understand now too, judging by the way he reaches for the hand Rom has on his hip, covering it with his own. 

"You're close, aren't you?" Rom murmurs, feeling the way Shuzo tenses up against him. "Come on, let me hear it. You'll sing for me, won't you?"

Shuzo does, Rom's name hanging in the air as he comes all over the mirror, all over Rom's hand. They fade off into whimpers as Rom continues thrusting, following soon behind with his own low moan of, " _Shu_."

Rom grabs Shuzo before he can collapse against the mirror, keeping him upright. Shuzo leans back against him, head resting on Rom's shoulder as he pants softly. Rom nuzzles against him, sighing heavily.

"I loved you, you know," Rom murmurs, trying not to look at them both reflected in the mirror, leaning into each other. "I loved you more than anything, and I told myself that whatever happened, it'd be okay as long as we still had each other. And then you left, and that wasn't okay."

"Rom—" Shuzo begins, but Rom's arms tighten around him, shushing him. 

"I wasn't sure if I loved you or hated you after that. Whatever it was, it was still a pretty intense feeling and I couldn't shake it no matter how hard I tried. But maybe I've grown a bit since then. I loved you, and maybe I'm still in love with who you used to be, and what we used to have, but we're not going back to that. I know that, and it hurts sometimes and I want to blame it all on you, but it's not entirely your fault. I know that too."

"Don't tell me you're actually growing as a person," Shuzo snorts, but there's no hint of malice in his tone. "And here I thought you'd never change."

"Sorry to disappoint," Rom mutters, but he grins as he pulls away, grabbing a towel off the dresser and wiping himself down before getting dressed. "I'll see you around, Shu."

He barely catches Shuzo's nod before he walks out of the dressing room. He doesn't stop and he doesn't look back, not until he's all the way back at BRR studios, finding his bandmates in the practice room.

"Rom, there you are!" Crow calls out. "You said you'd be late back, but you took your time."

Aion looks up from his guitar, giving Rom an assessing look. Rom can see the understanding in his eyes, just before he turns back to Holy Ark without a word. 

"What held you up?" Yaiba asks. 

"I ran into a friend," Rom explains. He shrugs, not meeting Aion's eyes. "We caught up for a bit."

"You look flushed," Crow comments. "You're not coming down with something, are you? If you get sick, there isn't going to be anyone around to stop Aion from going on one of his monologues or—"

"It's fine," Rom laughs, patting Crow's head. "I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Well, then," Crow claps his hands together. "The rest of us decided that we were super pumped after our performance, so let's get to work on a new song!"

Rom laughs, nodding as the others scramble to their places. Aion steps closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You smell like fox," Aion murmurs, raising an eyebrow at him. "The wrong fox. Even a dark god knows not to cross boundaries, but—you're sure everything is okay?"

"Yeah," Rom replies, and he means it. "I'm good. Thanks."


End file.
